was with J. and C. at a rooftop bar tonight.
this dude was chatting up C., and then J. Talk got into politics and north vs. south, red vs. blue, but, most importantly, man vs. woman. J. was sparring with him and getting annoyed but, I thought, also having fun. I sparred with the guy but it wasn't fun so I left the 2 alone.
Was chatting with C. until she said, I gotta head home. It was a long night, many drinks. We went over to J and the guy, and they were in a full blown argument. "Stop yelling," he said, and she was "I'm not yelling, if I were yelling you'd know it. You're an asshole, I'm done talking to you. I have to go, sorry, but I have to head out now." Tears were forming in her eyes.
She headed downstairs and we followed. We caught up with her and she was in a corner with broken pavement, tears streaming now.
"He was such an asshole. I wasn't even yelling. He wouldn't even listen to me. He basically treated me like a 'bitch' with nothing to say. Kept interrupting me and cutting me off. At some point he pulled a random guy over to back up his point, and he was pretty much like, 'Listen to this woman, isn't this bitch crazy?' If I had stayed I would have punched him in the face." She wiped her face. "Listen, I'm sorry to be downer for you guys but I couldn't take anymore. And, I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm crying because I'm so frustrated. "
We told her, don't be sorry.
I had heard some of what the guy was saying. He was being a macho jerk, and openly had little respect for a woman's opinion. He literally said as much - "What do you know, you're a woman. Ha ha." At one point I had I thought about stepping in -- but decided against it. In my mind I was thinking, J. knows what she's doing. And there's no need, I thought, to be another guy who steps in to "save" her with my macho energy.
I told J. as we walked to subway stations, to home, "I'm happy you spoke up about how you felt." I truly was. It was good for her, for him, for everyone.
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